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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Parental Negligence Kills...

We heard of children being kidnapped, raped, and murdered sometimes due to lack of supervision (such as Nurin Jazlin Jazimin case in 2007).

We heard of a father reverses his car over his own daughter.

We heard of parents forgotten and left their baby in the car seat, and the baby died due to heat.

We heard of children drowned, sometimes even under the parent's nose when they were distracted but for a few minutes.

Now, just a few days ago, we read about a baby boy less than a month old was starved to death due to parent's prolonged binge drinking with friends over a few days. Below is the news article taken from

Friday March 27, 2009
Baby dies, drunk parents forgot to feed him

MIRI: A baby boy, less than a month old, starved to death after his parents allegedly forgot to feed him because they were too drunk.

The baby died in the intensive-care unit of Miri Hospital yesterday morning and a police report has been lodged.

Police now want to question the parents, in their early 30s from a longhouse in southern Sarawak, who came to Miri to work and were renting a house at a low-cost housing scheme near the Sarawak-Brunei Highway, some 12km north of the city centre.

Relatives found the baby unconscious in the house and rushed him to the hospital at about 3am on Wednesday.

Miri deputy OCPD Supt Ismail Paduka Idris confirmed that the baby died in the morning.

“We are investigating claims that the parents had indulged in a prolonged drinking spree and had neglected the baby.

“Initial investigations show that the baby might have been so severely neglected that he suffered fatal consequences.

“We want to find out whether this was due to carelessness,” Supt Ismail said.

The couple also have a three-year-old daughter.

The above are but only a few incidents about parental negligence that were being reported. There were probably countless of other incidents that were not reported.

The purpose I'm writing this article is not to express my anger nor to point my finger at them parents and starts the blame game rolling. Rather, it is as a wake up call. A reminder. Far be in from me to judge others as I'm not perfect myself.

For those who think that these parents are terrible, utterly irresponsible and therefore, should be punished for their act of negligence, you are absolutely right! But do not forget that no one is perfect. We are all messed up in our own ways. Some of us are even capable of doing the same thing, or possibly things worse than these (we just don't know it yet). I'm someone who believes that until you're lying on your death bed breathing the last few breath in this world, do not ever let words such as "I'll NEVER do such a thing" rolled off your tongue so easily without any serious consideration because you may find yourself committing the said "crime" someday down the road.

As a Christian, there are a few phrases in the Bible that speaks to me very strongly regarding these matters:-

1. In John 8:7, Jesus protecting the prostitute from the accusers, said "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

2. Matthew 7:3-5  "Why do you observe the splinter in you brother's eye and never notice the plank in your own? How dare you say to your brother, 'Let me take the splinter out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own? Hypocrite! Take the plank out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother's eye."

3. And of course, in Luke 23:34, while Jesus was crucified on the cross, at one point, he said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

I believe in second chances because I believe in a God who believes in second chances.  Of course there are some who has worn out their second chances, especially those who are aware of their mistakes yet remain unrepentant.

The above drunk parents will not be charged with any criminal offence as the police investigation revealed that it's a tragic mishap and there was no criminal intent on hurting the baby.

Were the parents irresponsible? - Extremely

Were they stupid? - Definitely, but hopefully not anymore

Could the tragedy be prevented? - TOTALLY

Did they want the baby to die? - I most certainly hope not

Do they deserve a second chance? - In my humble opinion, YES.

Did they deserve to be punish? - Yes, and trust me, they are really having it right now.

Personally, I hope this experience, and the second chance they get will mould them to be better parents. And I do think they are really suffering right now, unless they are totally heartless. Frankly, I believe only if you're a parent, you'd fully understand the feeling of guilt, fear, and regret that one will go through when we put our little ones through pain, suffering, and in some cases - death, whether on purpose or by accident. The experience will haunt them for life. 

Like I said earlier, we're all messed up in our own way. Some of our mistakes are repairable, but unfortunatly, there are some mistakes you just can't do-over, but life goes on. Instead of pointing fingers, I'm just going to use the couple's story to teach, and remind myself of my duty as a parent and to pay more attention to my kids, and make sure that they are safe.... but of course have to try hard not to get over paranoid LOL! Otherwise I'd be putting my kids through a different kind of hell. The last thing you want is your children growing up with emotional and mental bondage fearing and thinking that the world is out to get them :P.

Arghhh! Living a balanced life, easier said than done LOL! No one and nothing is perfect, we just got to do our best according to our own abilities.



Forums for Mothers said...

There are many things people should prepare themselves on before deciding on creating another life. Are they prepared to let go their unhealthy habits?
I always feel sad when I hear about death to innocent babies due to negligence. :(

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this issue.

Daddy-O said...

You're welcome, "Forums for Mothers" :)
I too was saddened by news such as these, especially when some of these cases can easily be prevented. It's a real shame that people tend to take things forgranted until it's too late. Most people just assumes that things will work themselves out, sometimes they do, but sometimes they don't. One's unhealthy habits won't go away just because one suddenly becomes a parent. Tremendous amount of thoughts, determination and effort are required for such a change

I just hope that people (including me) will learn from others' mistakes and don't end up learning from our own. :) Thanks for sharing.

Kimmy said...

Didn't notice I put my name as Forum for mothers.. LoL.
I hope so too that parents will take better care when it comes to children safety.
Have a nice day.

Daddy-O said...

Nice to be able to finally put a name to a "name", Kimmy :P. And thx for all your sharing on your blog :). Keep up the good work.

Cord Banking said...

Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is great, as well as the content!

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